It’s hard to hand over control…. especially for a control freak like me. Right now I’m waiting. Waiting for others to make a decision about my future and it’s frustrating. My current contract expires in a week’s time. There’s a chance I could be offered a more regular one. There’s also a chance I may be offered another job entirely in which case I would have to consider whether to accept the job I love doing or accept one with more regular hours and more money which I would find stultifying. There’s a possibility I won’t be offered either and I would have to continue working on an ad hoc basis but doing the job I enjoy. For me the frustration comes not from being in a position where others are deciding my fate. My problem is that I need my life mapped out. I like to know what I’m doing when and so can neatly fit other activities around work.
So I am waiting…. in two weeks I should know what I am doing for the next six months, possibly longer. I have discovered how empty life is without a purpose. Working not only makes you feel useful, that someone is prepared to pay for your skills but it is nice to earn money too! Once I know where I am with regular work, I can then fit in my article writing and continue writing my novel. All this uncertainty makes concentration very difficult. Well, that’s my excuse anyway…
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