Well, another one gone and it was a lovely one. There’s always a tendency to pour scorn on some of these ‘commercial’ holidays but there is something special about having a day where your kids express their thanks. You don’t do it for the thanks of course and you’d still do it anyway without the thanks. But somehow it’s a reminder, in our frequently impossibly busy lives, that you are appreciated for what you do.
My son and daughter both arranged for flowers to be delivered on the Sunday – no doubt paying a hefty charge for that privilege. They didn’t come and frankly, it was certainly more upsetting that their carefully laid plans went awry due to someone’s inefficiency and they were upset by it, than not getting the flowers. No doubt they will turn up and I will love them just as much when they do as if they had arrived at the correct time.
As someone who worked as a counsellor and psychological therapist for many years, I can’t help but notice my feelings and what causes them. (You have to be aware of what’s going on for you so that you can separate it from your client’s stuff.) When my daughter seemed so angry and upset that my flowers hadn’t turned up on time I became angry too. Not because I didn’t get my flowers but because my kids had been disappointed. It’s been a failing of mine ever since having my first child that I have tried to shield them from disappointment. Perhaps too much so. They are both adults and have to learn to face life head on. My running interference all the time is not helping them in that endeavour and I have to keep reminding myself of that. So my note to self today and from now on is – butt out mum!
That said, my Mother’s Day was great with lovely cards from the kids saying all kinds of soft and cheesy things which I absolutely adored. Then my daughter set to work on my favourite meal for lunch. She pasted a ‘flow chart’ on the fridge for fun . The chart, in case you can’t read it properly, gives exact timings for the cooking with, at midday – Bar Opens. Every twenty minutes after that is the instruction ‘Top Up Mum’s Drink’. I think she and my husband were trying to get me drunk – they say I’m more fun that way! Anyway, they achieved their goal in record time and it was a very cheerful occasion! The meal was fabulous – Duck a l’orange with roasted new potatoes tossed in herby butter and spring vegetables. This was followed by an autumn pudding with a blackberry sauce – (feel I ought to say ‘coulis’ but – dammit – it was a sauce!) and ice cream. Yum!
Later in the day, my lovely son phoned to wish me a happy Mother’s Day and to say he was coming to see us next weekend. Couldn’t have been better really.
So, shame about the flowers, looking forward to getting them and for me, no big deal. But I wonder, what about the poor mums who live alone and didn’t get their flowers delivered on time? Sunday can be a very lonely day for people living on their own at the best of times. Mother’s Day is a double edged sword really – fantastic for mums everywhere who feel appreciated at the end of the day and warmed by the love of the children they have worked so hard to bring up. But for the childless or those who have lost contact with their children – Mother’s Day must be a torture that has to be endured on an annual basis.
It’s not the easiest thing in the world having kids and trying to ensure their future will be a happy and secure one but my goodness, I can’t imagine what life would be without them.